Interview with The Great Kat
Brendon and I - we should’ve seen it coming.
But (oh, sweet ignorance!) we realised WHY all interviews The Great Kat does are so damn
short only after we hung the phone up. Most of the articles consist of two-three questions
and the rest is the author’s personal thoughts on the subject - we never took notice
of that. But maybe it really was a good thing? We were prepared for a 20 minute interview
with The Guitar Goddess and we were not backing up!! The brave and strong Metal
journalists that we are…
The following is a detailed transcript of our interview with The Great Kat
- unedited and uncensored, just the way it went.
We would like to thank Karen Thomas of Thomas Public Relations for her
help with organisation of this conversation and The Great Kat, the Queen of everything,
for the most unforgettable experience of our miserable lives.
***
Kat Yeah, this is The Great Kat, who’s this?
Max Hi, this is Max from New Zealand’s House Of Noizz…
Kat What’s up?
Max Aaaah… Hi…
Kat Are you doing an interview or what?
Max Yeah…
Kat Good. What’s your first question?
Max Yeah, huh… Sorry, before I start, there’s Brendon
Williams here with me, he’s a co-producer of the show.
Kat What? What did you say?
Brendon I’m here too, don’t hurt me!
Kat What’s your name?
Brendon (giggles) My name’s Brendon, mistress.
Kat OK, what do you want?
Max OK, aaah…
Kat OK, my first question to YOU: (screams) WAKE UP, NEW
ZEALAND!!!!!! THE GREAT KAT IS GOD!!! Have you seen the website, www.greatkat.com?
Max Yeah…
Kat And did you hear The Great Kat’s shred-classical music?
Max Yes
Kat How does it make you feel??
Max Huh…
Brendon (giggles) Horny.
Kat What?
Brendon (still giggles) Horny.
Kat No-no-no, wait! Is it Brendon on the background saying “Horny”?
Cuz if it is, you’ve got about 3 seconds left of your interview, man! OK, I want you
to be serious! See, the same way you take Metallica seriously and Slayer seriously, you’re
gonna take The Great Kat seriously, because I have proven myself! The Great Kat, the
fastest shredder of all time! The “Wagner’s War” CD got brilliant reviews
all over the world - from “Guitar World” magazine, from “Spin”
Magazine, from all over the world, brilliant reviews, alright?! Shred/classical music must
be taken seriously, The Great Kat is a new Beethoven! Get it?
Brendon (not giggling anymore) We get it!
Max Oh my god!
Kat Good!
Max So, I heard you do research on journalists who interview you?
Kat I did research on you, Max, and I realise that you want the
ideal of Heavy Metal, right? That’s what The Great Kat is all about! I’M HERE TO
SAVE HEAVY METAL!!!! OK???!!! The Great Kat is Juilliard graduate violin virtuoso. Taking
classical music into the new millennium. I take classical pieces - Wagner, Beethoven,
Bach, Mozart, Paganini - I take this music, energise it, edit it, re-arrange it for the
21st century. Then I mix it with Heavy Metal, BRINGING CLASSICAL MUSIC INTO THE NEW
MILLENNIUM! BRINGING HEAVY METAL INTO THE NEW MILLENNIUM!!! WHAT ELSE? Is there anyone
else, who’s saving Heavy Metal and Classical music? Only The Great Kat, RIGHT??!!!
Max … right… ooh…
Kat Let me ask you about the “Wagner’s War” CD.
You’ve heard it. So what have you heard?
Max Well, the whole thing… it’s like 11 minutes long…
Kat OK, what did you like?
Max The whole thing. All of it.
Kat How does the song “War” make you feel?
Max It’s very strong….
Kat RIGHT!! BUT HOW DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL??!!
Max Aaah…. Scared…
Kat And did it make you want to get out there and do the killing?
DOESN’T IT MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE GOING TO WAR???!!!! Let me ask you a question: do you
realise what’s happened on 9/11?? Do you realise what’s going on in this world?
I mean, we’re not talking about New Zealand with ALL THESE LITTLE HOBBITS RUNNING
AROUND, ALRIGHT?!! WE GOT NEW YORK CITY, PLANES GOING INTO BUILDINGS, KILLING THOUSANDS OF
PEOPLE!!! This is what I’m talking about. Do you realise what’s “Wagner’s
War” is all about?
Max (frightened) Yes, ma’am…
Kat Ok, this is what it’s all about. 9/11, man! People
coming in, taking our planes and driving them into the buildings that are just a couple of
miles away from where The Great Kat lives in New York, OK?! I’m a New Yorker, I live
in New York city, and a couple of miles down the road we got 9/11!!! THAT’S THE WHOLE
POINT!! THE TERRORISTS HAD COME INTO OUR COUNTRY, INTO MY CITY, NEW YORK CITY, AND STARTED
THE WAR!!!! THAT’S WHY “WAGNER’S WAR” IS HERE!!!
Max OK, in general, what influences you to write this…
music. Sorry, masterpieces. The masterpieces.
Kat What influences me is Beethoven. Taking classical music and
bringing it to the new millennium. Using Beethoven and using classical music. That’s
what influences me, OKAY?
Max OK… So, if Beethoven heard your interpretations of his
music, what do you reckon he’d say?
Kat Basically, he’d be bowing to The Great Kat. He’d be
saying that The Great Kat is God and that The Great Kat is the new Beethoven of the 21st
century. That’s what he’d be doing if he was around today.
Brendon How do you feel about the music coming out at the moment,
Kat? The pop music of today?
Kat (yells) WHAT POP MUSIC?!! IT’S ALL CRAP!!!
SHRED-CLASSICAL IS THE ONLY MUSIC!! WAKE UP!!
Max Are there any bands on the modern scene who can come even clo…
Kat (interrupts) NO!!!
Max …close to…
Kat It’s all crap, it’s all boring!! You wanna get into
the past - listen to that crap. You wanna get into the 21st century - listen to The Great
Kat! What I’m doing is actually taking classical music and energising your brain with
classical music. That’s what The great Kat is doing! OK?! I’m actually taking
the violin virtuosity and the classical geniuses, and energising it. See, we don’t
have time… Are you on Internet? Yes, obviously you are! Do you wanna go slower? NO!
You wanna speed your brain, right? So why would you listen to boring slow music? Have you
seen The Great Kat “Guitar Shredder from Hell” music video?
Max No, actually…
Kat WHY NOT???!!!
Brendon We don’t have it in New Zealand unfortunately.
Kat Okay!! Well, what we have to do is all go to The Great Kat
website, www.greatkat.com, g.r.e.a.t.k.a.t. dot com!!!!! We’re all gonna go to The
Kat website, we’re gonna get energised, we’re gonna go, check out the music
video, there’s photos, there’s guestbook, there’s music, there’re
videos, the Kat-store, articles… in fact there’s a review from YOU, Max, saying
that “Wagner’s War” is rated 10/10!!! Saying “Wagner’s War is yet
another masterpiece from the FASTEST GUITAR-GODDESS ALIVE!!! The new album is bound for
ETERNITY!!!” OKAY???!!! There’re all these goodies. I want everybody on the
website RIGHT NOW!!!! We’re gonna see you energising, and my goal right now is to
take you, Max and you, Brendon, and we’re gonna make you geniuses, bowing to The
Great Kat! You’re gonna be playing Kat’s music 24 hours a day! We’re gonna
make the Kat channel right there, OK??!! The music The Great Kat is composing right now is
for the new video game for X-Box and Intendo - so you’re gonna go get that, go to the
Kat website, get all the information, that’s what you’re gonna do right now!!
And you’re gonna play some music!! You’re gonna play “Zapateado,”
right?? WHAT YOU GONNA DO???
Max Aaah….
Kat (yells) COME ON!!! WAKE UP!!!!!
Brendon Yeah, we gonna play The Great Kat. I’m very excited
to…
Kat (not listening) Here’s what you’re gonna do - you’re
gonna play “Wagner’s War,” you’re gonna play “The Ride of the
Valkyries”!!!!!
Max Yeah, alright. But I got more questions here….
Kat WHAT ELSE???!!
Max You were named one of the Top 10 Fastest Shredders of All
Time. Why not THE fastest shredder?
Kat Because these people see The Great Kat as female! They think
she can’t be better than guys!!! See, the problem is, when you’re female you got
to sit around, wait for them to understand that females can be as good and BETTER than
guys!! So I have to play twice as fast, I have to be a Juilliard graduate violin virtuoso.
I have to go and be Beethoven!! I have to be violin virtuoso and a guitar virtuoso!! I got
to be better, I got to be faster, I got to be more brilliant and more outrageous - that’s
why The Great Kat is GOD!!! Now, when they’ll get up and wake up, and UNDERSTAND it -
maybe they’ll put me to number one! I DON’T CARE!!!! I’M NOT DOING THIS FOR
THE NUMBERING!! I’M DOING THIS TO WAKE YOU UP!!!!!
Brendon How long did you spend perfecting your art?
Kat I studied for several years, before going to the college,
then I studied for 6 years, played concerts throughout the United States, discovered that
the classical music is DEAD!!! And discovered Heavy Metal through Judas Priest and Ozzy.
Then I discovered that Heavy Metal mixed with classical music is the way to the future. I
took classical music, I mixed it with Heavy Metal, picked up the guitar, systematically
transcribed all my violin solos to the guitar and changed history!
Brendon But do you still listen to Judas Priest and Ozzy?
Kat I listen to it once in a while, when I come across it. Yeah,
I listen to it. But I’m already too far beyond it! Those guys are still on their
first level of Heavy Metal. What else?
Max All of your compositions are very short. Why is that?
Kat It’s short and to the point! It’s like Internet -
fast, short, to the point!!
Max A word of wisdom from you to the young guitarists. What
should they do to be able to play like you? Actually, is it at all possible - to play like
you? A word of wisdom from you to the young guitarists. What should they do to be able to
play like you? Actually, is it at all possible - to play like you?
Kat GIVE IT UP!!! (giggles) You can’t be a violin and guitar
virtuoso, man!! You can not do it!! Because people who play violin don’t have
possibilities to play guitar, and people in Metal don’t have the genius to play
violin! Do you know how hard the violin is? Go listen to it!! I play “Zapateado”
faster than anyone ever played it! It’s extremely hard! That’s why my playing is
incomparable! You wanna compare all those other guitarists - that’s fine, let’s
go and compare them. But The Great Kat is not comparable to anybody! WAKE UP!!!!!
Brendon For you to play these instruments, they surely must be
crafted by master craftsmen. Who do you endorse as being good enough to make these
instruments?
Kat The Great Kat plays a variety of instruments. I play a bunch
of different guitars, I play a bunch of different violins, I have Italian violin, German
violin… I don’t endorse anybody right now, because when they’ll come and
say “The Great Kat is God, and we’ll let you take all of our company over and
DOMINATE THE WORLD!!!” - then maybe I’ll talk to them. WHAT ELSE???!!!
Max Is there a difference between The Great Kat and Katherine
Thomas?
Kat (yells) NO!!!! I AM THE GREAT KAT, GET OUT OF MY WAY!!!!
MOVE!!
Max Okay...
Brendon Have you ever been arrested for assault?
Kat NO! MOVE!!!!
Max (nervous laughter) Oh, shit, I’m running out of
questions…
Kat OKAY!! YOU GOT ONE QUESTION LEFT! WHAT IS IT??!!!!!
Max Your message to the New Zealand fans of The Great Kat?
Kat Here’s my message: I want YOU, Max! You’re gonna go
and spread the word of The Great Kat! You’re alright guys, you just need to be guided
correctly! The guiding I’m gonna give you is this: Spread the word, you’re gonna
play shred-classical all day, you’re gonna promote The Great Kat on your website as
The Great Kat is promoting you on The Great Kat website! You, Max and you, Brendon - we’re
gonna take over the world! RIGHT??
Max Definitely…
Kat WE’RE GONNA TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!! We’re not only
gonna update Heavy Metal and classical music, but we’re gonna update all those idiots
who think that Hip Hop and all that crap-Rap is gonna be saving the planet! WAKE
UP!!!!!!!! IT’S CRAP!!! We gotta get everybody into shred-classical music, we’re
gonna play the “Wagner’s War”!! The Great Kat is the fastest guitarist in
the world!! This is the future!! You’re gonna energise everybody. And here’s my
last words to you: WAKE UP!!!!! OKAY??!!!
Max Yup.
Kat SAY IT!!!!! SAY “THE GREAT KAT RULES”!!!!
Max The Great Kat rules!
Brendon The Great Kat rules!
Kat SAY IT WITH ENERGY!!!!
Brendon THE GREAT KAT RULES!!!
Kat HERE YOU GO!! TAKE CARE!!
Max Thank you very much for doing this interview for us!
Kat NO PROBLEM, BYE!!
© 2004 HOUSE OF NOIZZ. Max Thrasher, Brendon Williams.
