Extreme guitarist extraordinaire and bondage-gear enthusiast
the Great Kat (Katherine Thomas)
is tearing the masters a fresh one on her new DVD,
Beethoven's Guitar Shred,
the successor to 2005’s Extreme Guitar Shred. The DVD includes a
rendition of “Flight of the Bumblebee,” a song that in and of itself is
a musical anxiety attack. In the hands of the Great Kat, it becomes a
teeth-gnashing, sphincter-seizing assault, hence the very very brief
clip above. (We don’t want any of you sending us your dry cleaning
bills.) Speaking of anal, I remember hearing Mr. Methane, the famous
farter, perform that same song out of his ass on the Howard Stern show.
I guess it’s a favorite tune of extreme musicians in every medium.
But back to the Great Kat. The chick diddles the fret board like her
digits are nothing less than an industrial machine. If she started a
line of Great Kat vibrators, I wouldn’t buy one out of pure fear. It’s
safer to watch the seven videos of Kat wanking away on classical gems
such as Beethoven’s “5th Symphony,” Bach’s “Brandenburg Concerto #3”
(wherein she attacks six guitars and three violins), and Paganini’s
“Caprice #24.” Then there’s extra Great Kat madness. “Torture
Techniques” is promoted on her site thusly: “Watch Kat’s arsenal of
torture devices and abused victims!” Wow. Uh. How ‘bout no? And there’s
some rather disturbing role-playing on “Islamofascists.” Nuckin’ futz.
Shred on, psycho madam, shred on.
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